


Gathering Courage

by Whiskey_With_Patron



Series: Flores Facets [5]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, mild panic attack, nico also needs therapy but that's besides the point, thomas needs therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-24 00:22:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30063825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whiskey_With_Patron/pseuds/Whiskey_With_Patron
Summary: Nico wants to send a published novel of his to a publisher, but Paranoia keeps holding him back. Before he can decide whether or not to send it, he remembers that he has a date with Thomas and rushes off to the local theatre, where Thomas is auditioning for a new role.
Relationships: Nico Flores/Thomas Sanders
Series: Flores Facets [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1970398
Comments: 27
Kudos: 48





	Gathering Courage

**Author's Note:**

> i meant to write something for this series earlier, but i started watching Dream SMP and got YEETED into a new hyperfixation so i got distracted from this series for a bit.
> 
> ANYWAY. here are The Boys

“I can do this.”

“You can do this.”

“I can _do_ this.”

“You can do this!”

“I can do this!”

“You can do this!”

Nico went to press “send” on his laptop, but he faltered and retracted his hand with a frustrated sigh. “I can’t do this.”

Creativity groaned. “Nico, come on! It’s just one itty bitty publisher! It’s not like this will make or break your career.”

“But it could!” Nico shut his laptop and huffed, annoyed at himself—or a certain part of himself—for not having the courage to go through with this. “What if they hate my writing? What if they like my writing but then they meet me and they hate me? What if there are like, a thousand typos in my manuscript that I completely skipped over?”

“Nico we’ve gone over this.” With a flourish of his purple wizard cloak, Creativity lowered himself onto the couch next to Nico. “You’ve had at least five of your beta readers look over the whole thing, and you even got your sister to read through it, and you know how harsh she is with her criticisms! You’ve edited this story over and over and over. This has to be our twentieth draft already.” He reached over and opened the laptop again. “Go ahead and send it. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“I completely embarrass myself to a publisher,” Nico said. “They hate me and my writing, and they spread the word to other publishers that I suck, and I never get published by an actual publishing company and end up stuck with self-publishing for the rest of my days.”

“You’ve said ‘publish’ so many times, it doesn’t feel like a real word anymore,” Creativity said. He gently nudged the side of Nico’s head with his wizard’s staff. “Besides, you know how unlikely all of that speculation is. Come on, I know Paranoia is working overtime in there, but just listen to me! I’m your passion, your drive to create things and succeed! Now go on and send it!”

Nico stared at his laptop screen for a moment, contemplating his options. “I’m sorry, Creativity. I just don’t think it’s ready.”

“Well, Paranoia may think so, but what about the rest of us? Logic and I had this discussion earlier. The story is as good as it’s going to get for now, and Heart is so excited to finally have a chance for you to be a published author.”

A familiar face rose up from the floor and flopped onto the couch. “Please, Nico?” Heart begged, his eyes wide and pleading through his gold-rimmed glasses. “This is the most excited we’ve all been since you met Thomas! I know I’m not always right, but could you follow your heart just this once?”

Nico glanced at Aurelio, the imaginary embodiment of his emotions. “Aurelio, I don’t know,” he sighed. “I’m just scared that they’re going to hate what I do.”

Aurelio clasped his hands together and batted his eyelashes. Despite the fact that it was his own face looking up at him, Nico found it extra hard to resist those eyes. Aurelio just made his own face look so darn cute somehow.

“Please?” Aurelio said. “This is a big opportunity for you. We all want you to succeed.”

“Except for Paranoia,” Nico muttered.

“Well, he doesn’t count!” Creativity scoffed. “He’s gloomy and pessimistic and quite frankly, I don’t like him all that much. He only holds you back. Don’t listen to him!”

Aurelio grimaced. “Uh, that was a little harsh there, friend. Maybe we should be a little nicer to Paranoia? He is part of Nico.”

“Creativity,” Logic’s voice said as he rose up behind the couch, “Paranoia’s functions are an essential part of Nico’s personality despite his overreactions about many things. Paranoia encompasses Nico’s fight-or-flight reflexes, and whether or not you want to accept it, you and Paranoia both share Nico’s general drive to succeed. You control the passion for success while Paranoia controls Nico’s fear of failure, which pushes him to try his hardest at things he wants to succeed at.” Logic pushed his orange glasses up his nose. “Creativity, I’ll thank you not to undermine any facet of Nico’s personality. We are all useful.”

Creativity opened his mouth to argue, but no words came out. He huffed and crossed his arms. “Whatever, nerd.” He gestured to Nico’s laptop. “Now are we going to send this manuscript or not?”

“We should,” Logic said. “Everything is in order. I made sure of that.”

“But is it?” Nico asked.

Logic raised a brow. “Are you saying you don’t think I was thorough enough in my revision of our novel?”

 _“I’m_ not questioning you,” Nico said. He pointed to the corner of the room. “He is.”

Everyone followed his gaze. In the corner was a shadow that took on the faint shape of a person in a dark blue cloak.

Creativity sighed. “Hello, Paranoia.”

Aurelio smiled and waved. “Heya, friend!”

Paranoia drifted over to the couch. “You know they’re just going to hate what you wrote,” he hissed.

“We don’t know that for sure,” Logic said.

Creativity huffed. “Go away, Doom and Gloom,” he said. He made a shooing motion in Paranoia’s direction. “This isn’t your problem.”

“It is my problem. I’m here to make sure Nico doesn’t embarrass himself.”

Creativity scowled at Logic. “And you said he’s part of Nico’s drive to succeed.”

“He is. Just in a different way.” Logic reached into his suit jacket and pulled out a day planner. “By the way, you have a date with Thomas in half an hour.”

Aurelio gasped. “Oh no, I forgot about that!”

“That’s today?” Nico asked.

Creativity shut the laptop again. “Forget about this for now! We’ve got a date to get ready for!” He glared at Paranoia. “But this discussion isn’t over.”

Within half an hour, Nico managed to find a decent outfit, ignoring Creativity’s insistence that he be more adventurous with his fashion choices. He finished getting ready in record time, although his hair was still a little messy, and headed out to meet Thomas.

As Nico drove through the city, Paranoia settled in the backseat like he usually did when Nico was driving. “Where exactly are we going, again?” Nico asked.

Logic appeared in the passenger seat. “The playhouse theatre uptown,” he said. “Thomas has an audition for a local play and he wants us to be there for support.”

“Right, I can’t believe I forgot. You know where it is, right?”

“Yes. I’ll let you know when we get there.”

Nico couldn’t help but glance at his watch every few seconds as he drove. He hoped he wouldn’t be late. He wanted to be there to support Thomas during his audition. Thomas had supported Nico a lot over the past few weeks, and Nico wanted to do the same.

“We’re here,” Logic said, pointing to a building.

Nico pulled over and parked along the side of the street. The theatre was small, but given that even Nico had heard of it even though he wasn’t interested in theatre at all, it must have had some successful plays.

“Maybe you shouldn’t go in,” Paranoia said. “What if they’re in the middle of auditions already and you’ll just interrupt?”

“He’ll be quiet when he goes in so as not to disrupt anything,” Logic said. “Would you rather be late for our scheduled date with Thomas and make him think we don’t want to support him, or make a little bit of noise when we enter the building?”

Paranoia stared at Logic from under his hood. He whipped his head around to look at Nico. “Go in!”

Nico stepped out of his car and walked up to the door of the theatre, Logic at his side. “Impressed you actually got him to cooperate,” Nico muttered.

Logic straightened his orange glasses. “It’s a simple matter of thinking of the consequences of not doing the thing you’re afraid of and deciding what to do from there. It doesn’t work all the time, but your Paranoia can occasionally be persuaded to back off that way.”

Nico opened the theatre doors slowly, trying not to make too much noise just in case. The seats stretched out in rows in front of him, and a stage sat at the other end of the room, complete with spotlights and curtains. People milled about near the stage, talking with each other and reading from scripts. Nico hesitated, unsure if he should be here since he clearly wasn’t here to act, but he forged ahead regardless.

A familiar face popped up out of the group and Nico sighed in relief. Thomas weaved through the crowd, muttering polite “excuse me’s” and “sorry’s” as he made his way to Nico.

Thomas emerged from the crowd, a smile on his face and a script in his hand. “You made it!”

Butterflies fluttered in Nico’s stomach at the sight of Thomas. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he said.

He and Thomas wrapped each other in a hug and Nico allowed himself to relax for a moment. Thomas was a great hugger. His hugs were tight enough to make Nico feel completely enveloped in his arms. He was so full of love for everyone else, and that translated in his hugs. Nico always felt loved and safe when he was around Thomas, and today was no exception.

Thomas finally pulled away, smile faltering. “I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve been nervous all day. My friend Joan said it would be fine, but y’know... anxiety.”

Nico took Thomas’ hand and gave it a squeeze. “Yeah, I get it. You’ll do great. You’ve been going over this script since before we met.”

Thomas shrugged. “I don’t know.” He nervously fidgeted with the script in his hand. “All these people have been in so many more plays recently. All I’ve done is turn down a movie role for a wedding I didn’t even want to go to.”

Nico tugged Thomas closer. “Hey, it’ll be okay. The worse that can happen is you won’t get the role, and there will always be more to audition for.”

Thomas nodded slowly. “Yeah, you’re right.” The smile came back. “I’m a little excited, too. It’s been a while since I’ve acted.”

“You’re going to do great,” Nico said. He grinned and leaned forward. He pecked Thomas on the cheek. “For good luck.”

Thomas’ face flushed beet red. “Uh, thank you,” he stammered.

The other actors started gathering around the stage and Nico nudged Thomas’ arm. “Go get ‘em, babe.”

Nico found a seat and sat down as Thomas joined the group of actors. There weren’t many other people in the audience, but there were still a few who were there to support their friends. Nico took a seat alone near the front so he could see the stage better.

“‘The worst that could happen is you don’t get the role,’” Creativity repeated in a mocking voice as he appeared in the seat next to Nico. “Maybe you could, I don’t know, listen to your own advice?”

Nico raised a brow. “What?”

Creativity gestured to the stage, where all the actors were listening to something the casting director was saying. “You told Thomas to take his shot at this and not worry about failure! Why can’t you think the same when we’re doing something? We said that earlier when you were about to send in your manuscript, but you didn’t listen!”

Nico sighed. “Creativity, we’ll deal with this later. I know you want to get published, but we’re here, so we can’t do anything about it now.”

Creativity huffed. “Why don’t you ever say that to Paranoia when he’s bugging you?”

“Why are you being so difficult today?” Nico asked.

A couple people in the seats far in front of him turned around to glance at him. Nico shrank down in his seat. He really needed to be more careful about talking to his facets in public.

Creativity crossed his arms. “Whatever. I’ll be daydreaming if you need me.”

He sank out. Nico watched him go, confused. Why was Creativity in such a sour mood today?

“He’ll be fine, Nico,” Aurelio said, rising up into the chair that Creativity had just left vacant. “I think he’s just stressed about the publishers, that’s all.”

“I hope you’re right,” Nico said.

Aurelio fidgeted with the gold locket around his neck. “I mean, I’m kind of with him on that though? I really, really want you to succeed, Nico. This has been something you’ve been wanting to do for ages. I’ve always wanted you to officially publish something. And you’re never going to get there if you don’t try.”

“I know,” Nico sighed. “Let’s just... talk about this later. The auditions are starting.”

Aurelio’s shoulders slumped, but he faced the stage as the auditions began.

Unfortunately, Thomas would be one of the last to audition, since they were going by alphabetical order, so Nico had some waiting to do before he saw Thomas perform. As he watched, he had to admit that the other actors were pretty talented. Many of them didn’t even look at their scripts during their auditions, However, there were a few that were clearly new to acting and wouldn’t be getting very far.

“Whatever part she’s trying out for, she won’t get it,” Logic’s voice scoffed as he lowered himself into the chair on Nico’s other side. “Her voice is flat, her movements are too robotic—what does she think she’s doing?”

“Oh come on, Logic,” Aurelio piped up. “Be a little nicer! I’d say this girl’s got a fair shot.”

Nico only half listened to his facets talk about the actors during the auditions. He couldn’t help but think about Creativity’s bad mood. Nico had been working his imagination overtime lately to get his novel ready to send. Maybe Creativity was just tired?

In truth, Nico had been feeling a little less inspired lately. He’d been getting writer’s block more often and left his writing in favour of frantically editing his manuscript, stressing obsessively over whether or not it would be good enough. Maybe the writer’s block had Creativity a little worked up. It was pretty frustrating to not know what to write.

Nico felt a pang of guilt. Maybe he’d been pushing his creativity too far lately.

Aurelio gasped and pointed at the stage. “Nico, look! There he is!”

Nico shook himself out of his thoughts and turned his attention to the stage. Thomas stood there in front of the casting director, script in hand, spotlight shining down on him like a halo. He smiled and introduced himself and the role he was auditioning for. He fidgeted with his script, thumbing at the edges of the pages. He looked excited and nervous all at the same time.

Aurelio gave a wistful sigh. “He’s so pretty.”

“He really is,” Nico agreed, keeping his voice down to a whisper so no one around him would hear as Thomas began reciting his lines.

“And passionate about his work,” Logic added. “Look at him. He’s so dynamic when he’s acting. He will likely get the role he wants. No one else so far has been able to compare to him.”

Aurelio grinned. “You’re just saying that because you _like_ him.”

Logic spluttered. “Wh—no! I’m simply stating that... well, objectively, he is the best actor in this room. It has nothing to do with how handsome and smart he is.”

Aurelio reached across Nico to poke Logic’s arm. “You _like_ like him. You have a crush on him.”

“We all do!” Logic snapped, his cheeks blushing a flaming red.

Nico absently waved a hand at them. “Guys, shh. Thomas is still acting.”

He watched, transfixed, as Thomas recited his lines. He hardly glanced at his script once during his entire audition. He spoke with such passion and eloquence, Nico would be shocked if Thomas didn’t get the role he was shooting for.

Then it happened. Just a small pause in the monologue, a slight stutter of Thomas’ voice, had his words catching in his throat. The sudden quiet pulled a nervous laugh from Thomas’ chest, frantically muttering apologies as he fumbled with his script. He found the spot he’d stopped at and immediately picked up the monologue from where he’d left off, acting as if nothing had ever happened.

Thomas was a very good actor. If Nico didn’t know any better, he would have thought the little stumble over his words was just a small mistake, something Thomas had already stopped thinking about as he continued on with his audition.

But even after only a few weeks of knowing Thomas, Nico could tell when something was wrong. Before the slip up, he’d been fine, every line executed with confidence. Now there was an emotional thickness to his voice, like he was fighting back tears, and his usual bright smile faltered every time he started a new line.

Aurelio leaned forward in his seat. “Oh no. Is he okay?”

Logic straightened his glasses. “It appears as though he’s become nervous.”

“What if we’re the reason he screwed up?” Paranoia’s voice said as he appeared behind Nico’s seat.

“I doubt that,” Logic said. “Besides, he didn’t ‘screw up.’ He merely fumbled with his words for a moment. He is still doing remarkably well despite the circumstances.”

“But he doesn’t look okay,” Aurelio said, nervously tugging on his necklace. “Should we go do something?”

“Not in the middle of his audition!” Paranoia snapped. “Then we’d screw up everything more! Just sit here and wait for him to be done. We’ll talk to him after.”

Nico waited as Thomas continued going through his audition. It was only another thirty or so seconds, but it felt like ages until Thomas finally lowered his script. He gave a brief bow and stepped off the stage. The other actors smiled at him and quietly said their praises for his performance as the next person hopped on stage. Thomas returned their compliments with a smile before he darted towards a door that likely led backstage.

Nico stood, intent on going after him, before Paranoia pulled him back. “Dude, he’s backstage. You’re not allowed back there.”

“Who cares?” Aurelio tugged Paranoia’s hand off Nico’s shoulder. “Para, Thomas needs Nico. He’s upset. We should help him.”

“That would be the best course of action,” Logic agreed. “Go talk to him, Nico.”

Nico made his way through the seats. Luckily, no one was paying attention to him, as someone new was now in the middle of their own audition. He snuck over to the backstage door. No one paid him any mind as he opened it and slipped through.

A short hallway greeted him, with a couple doors in either side. One of them had a plaque that read “STAGE” plastered across it. He assumed the other ones were dressing rooms or bathrooms.

“Where is he?” Aurelio asked.

“I don’t know,” Nico muttered. He already knew Thomas wouldn’t have gone up onto the stage, but he didn’t know if he would be in the bathrooms or in a dressing room.

“Bathrooms are a common place for anxious people to go when they are nervous,” Logic said, “as it’s unlikely anyone would bother them while inside one. I’d check the bathroom first.”

Nico went to do just that, but he paused when he heard a voice coming from one of the other doors. He turned to one of the dressing rooms. The door was slightly ajar, and a familiar voice spoke from inside.

“I don’t know, Virgil!” Thomas’ voice said, voice thick with emotion. “I don’t know what happened. Let’s just try to calm down and...”

His voice trailed off as if someone had interrupted him mid-sentence. Nico exchanged a confused glance with Logic and took a step toward the door.

“Roman, please, now is not the time,” Thomas sighed. Nico saw him pacing back and forth across the room through the crack in the door. “I tried, but...”

Another pause. “No, Virgil did not screw this up,” he said. “I just fumbled with my words. Don’t pin this on him.” He sighed. “No, Remus wasn’t there the whole time. I think I would have noticed if he was. This was just... me. I screwed this up. God, they won’t want to cast me in the role now.”

Nico glanced at Aurelio. Aurelio shrugged, seemingly just as confused as Nico was (which made sense because—well, he was part of Nico, of course they would be equally confused). Who was Thomas talking to? Was he on the phone with someone?

“Thank you, Roman, that actually helps a bit,” Thomas muttered. “I’m just... ugh, I thought I was doing so well. I don’t know what happened.”

Nico was a little hesitant to interrupt, but he gently knocked on the door. “Thomas? You in there?”

Something crashed on the other side of the door, followed by hissed cursing. Nico nudged the door open to see Thomas leaning against a vanity in the dressing room, a stool knocked over at his feet like he’d tripped over it.

“You okay, honey?” Nico asked. He hadn’t actually meant to call Thomas “honey.” The pet name slipped out of its own accord. Luckily, Thomas didn’t seem to notice.

He nodded and plastered on a smile. “Yeah, I’m okay. Thanks.”

“He’s lying,” said a voice behind Nico. He glanced up to see Creativity’s reflection in the vanity mirror. He leaned on his wizard’s staff, watching the exchange with a disinterested look on his face.

Nico took a step forward. “Are you sure? You seem kind of anxious.”

Thomas lowered his gaze and hunched his shoulders. “Is it that obvious?” he mumbled.

“To me it is.” Nico hesitantly reached out a hand. “Can I...?”

Thomas gave a sharp nod and Nico set a hand on his shoulder. “You nervous about the audition?” Nico asked.

Thomas nodded again. “I don’t know what happened,” he muttered. “I was doing fine. I just fumbled with it, I guess.” He heaved a defeated sigh. “I’ll be fine. You don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to.”

“Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies,” Creativity sang, idly examining his fingernails. “Come on, you know Thomas. He’s an anxious mess. There’s no way he’ll be fine after this disaster.”

Aurelio crossed his arms. “His performance was not a disaster, thank you very much. I happen to think he did quite well.”

Creativity shrugged. “I’m just saying it could have gone better.”

“What are you even doing here anyway?” Paranoia hissed. “Get out. This isn’t your problem.”

Creativity gave a very un-Creativity-like grin. “I have a way of making _everything_ my problem.”

“I’m not just going to leave you when you’re upset, Thomas,” Nico said quietly. He shuffled closer, hands slipping from Thomas’ shoulders to his arms. “Were you that anxious about this audition?” he asked as he gently rubbed Thomas’ arm in an attempt to comfort him.

“Yeah,” Thomas said. “It’s the first time I’ve tried to act since my movie audition. I... I really wanted this to go well. I didn’t think I would...” He took a deep, shuddering breath. “I practiced so much. I don’t know why I forgot my line.”

Nico squeezed his arm. “One forgotten line isn’t going to make or break your career, honey,” he said. “I thought your performance was wonderful. I don’t think anyone else noticed that you were nervous.”

“But what if they did?” Thomas fidgeted with his script, flipping the pages with his thumb. He grimaced. “I’m sorry for ranting about this. I probably shouldn’t put this on you.”

“He’s manipulating you!” Paranoia burst. “He’s fishing for sympathy just like Jamie used to! Abort mission! Abort!”

“There’s a difference between ‘fishing for sympathy’ and genuinely being distressed,” Logic pointed out. “Thomas has anxiety, and that makes him insecure about many issues he faces, especially when expressing them to Nico. Need I point out that so far, he hasn’t said anything self-deprecating that would prompt us into complimenting him like our ex-boyfriend, Jamie, used to? He hasn’t tried to blame this situation on Nico, either. He’s simply upset and expressing his feelings to Nico, as if normal for romantic relationships.”

 _Thanks Logic,_ Nico thought, grateful towards his own sense of logic for being able to calm his paranoid thoughts. “You have nothing to apologize for,” Nico said. He turned a little so he was facing Thomas head on, one hand still on his shoulder. “You’re allowed to be anxious, and I want to help you when I can.”

Thomas thumbed at his script, seemingly hesitant to accept Nico’s help, but eventually he nodded and leaned into Nico’s touch. Nico took that as an invitation to get closer. He gently wrapped his arms around Thomas, who hugged him right back, leaning his head on Nico’s shoulder.

“One audition won’t destroy your acting career,” Nico said. “There will always be more. Besides, didn’t you say you already made a name for yourself with that YouTube channel of yours? The one you have with your friends where you do fun skits and videos? You’ll always have that. And no matter how everything turns out, I’ll be here to support you.”

Thomas sniffled as if he was fighting back tears. “Thanks Nico,” he mumbled.

Creativity tilted his head. “Aww, cute. You know, you really should keep him. Having someone like him around will do wonders for your mental health.”

“Shut up!” Paranoia snapped. “This isn’t your issue!”

“Everything is my issue, hon,” Creativity said.

Thomas leaned against Nico’s chest. “You’re really nice,” he muttered, and Nico couldn’t quite tell if he was talking directly to Nico or more to himself. “My last boyfriend wasn’t as nice as you are.”

Aurelio gasped. “Did he just imply that you’re boyfriends?”

Logic raised a brow. “I believe he did.”

“You’re moving too fast!” Paranoia shouted. “You haven’t even kissed him on the lips yet! This is too much! We can still go back with Jamie. He’s still an option!” He glanced at Aurelio. “He’s still an option, right? Jamie’s still an option? Please tell me Jamie’s still an option.”

Aurelio unceremoniously shoved Paranoia aside, staring at Thomas with hearts in his eyes. “Oh my god, he loves us!”

“Say something, idiot,” Creativity scoffed. “You’ve been standing there for about thirty seconds. Do you know how your voice works, or do you need someone to remind you?”

With nothing else to say, Nico blurted “Are we boyfriends?”

Thomas tensed in Nico’s arms as if he just realized what he’d implied. “Oh. Oh, no, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. I—God, I’m sorry, you’re still moving on from your last boyfriend. I shouldn’t have—”

“Hey, Thomas, it’s okay,” Nico interrupted before Thomas could fall down a spiral of anxiety. “It’s okay.” He gently pulled out of the hug a little to look Thomas in the eye, arms still wrapped around his waist. “Look, I... I wouldn’t exactly protest if you do want to be boyfriends.”

Thomas blinked at him, eyes watery with tears. He stared at Nico as he processed what he’d just said. “What?”

A smile tugged at Nico’s lips. “I would be okay with being your boyfriend. I mean, we’ve been dating for the past few weeks. I think I’d be okay with that.”

Thomas sniffled. He lowered his gaze and let go of Nico with one hand to wipe at his eyes. “Oh god, why am I crying?” he mumbled.

Both he and Nico let out a brief laugh at that, although Thomas’ was more of a splutter than an actual laugh. Nico brushed Thomas’ tears away with one hand. “I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he said.

Thomas waved a hand dismissively. “Nah, it’s okay. I once cried because I saw someone step on a ladybug. I’ll cry over anything.”

Nico couldn’t help but smile at that. Of course Thomas would cry over a ladybug—he was Thomas.

“So, is this okay?” Nico asked quietly. “Us being boyfriends?”

Thomas nodded. “Yes. God, yes. Sorry, I’m just... ugh, so many emotions right now.”

“That’s okay, take your time,” Nico said. “Look, about your audition again, I really do think you did amazingly well. And I mean that honestly. You are so incredibly talented. It was a really, really small slip up, and it was nowhere near as bad as some of those other auditions. I don’t like to talk bad about people, but seriously, one of them sounded like robots. You were one of the best actors out there. They would be stupid not to cast you in that role, and even if you don’t get it, it’s not the end of the world. There are tons more roles in plays and movies out there. You will get another role eventually. You’re too good of an actor to never get hired again.”

“You’re being a hypocrite, Flores,” Creativity said. “Take your own advice for once.”

Nico ignored him and kept his attention on Thomas. He shifted in Nico’s arms, looking everywhere but his face. “Thanks,” Thomas said. He took a deep, shaky breath. “I should probably get back out there, I guess.”

Nico smiled. “Whatever happens, I’m proud of you.” He kissed Thomas on the forehead.

Thomas’ face flushed. “Um—uh, thank you.”

Nico gave him one last squeeze before letting go. Thomas stumbled on his way to the door, still flustered, but he gave Nico a smile before he left the dressing room.

“Wow, finally,” Creativity scoffed. “I’ve been waiting for you two to make it official.”

Nico turned back to the mirror on the vanity. None of his other facets were in the room now—just Creativity.

“You know, you really have been pushing your imagination a little far these days,” Creativity said, examining his nails. “I’d be surprised if that publisher didn’t want to publish your book, with all the work you’ve put into it. Why, your Creativity might just burn out one of these days because of how much you’ve been using it, and we wouldn’t want that.”

Nico sighed, a little reluctant to turn back to this issue right now. “I’m sorry, Creativity. I didn’t know I was pushing—”

Creativity held up a hand to stop him. “Apologies later. Save it for the facet who needs to hear it. I’m simply acting in your best...” A grin prodded at his face. “Self-interest. Publishing that book will bring more people to your work, and the next thing you know, success will be falling into your lap. You really do need to listen to your own advice.”

“But what if I fail?” Nico asked quietly.

“Success doesn’t come without failure. If this novel doesn’t get published, keep working until you find someone who will publish it. But please, do take a break after you submit your manuscript. You’ve been working yourself half to death lately, and I’ve been working overtime just to keep up your mental health.”

Nico blinked, confused. “Mental health? That’s not your function. You’re my creativity.”

“I didn’t say ‘mental health,’” Creativity huffed. “I said ‘imagination.’ I’ve been working overtime to keep yourself creative. Do you have cotton in your ears? Can you not hear?”

Nico took a step back from the mirror. Something was off. “You’re acting really weird.”

“Oh, I’m sure it’s just the creative burnout. You know, I have been working pretty hard lately. I think we all deserve a break. Take a few days off from writing. It’ll do wonders.”

“Take a few days off?” Nico repeated. “You usually try to get me to keep writing even when you’re dead tired.”

Creativity shrugged. “Change of heart, I suppose.”

Nico examined Creativity’s reflection in the mirror. Nothing particularly different stood out in his appearance, but Nico couldn’t shake a sneaking suspicion that tugged at the back of his mind. He looked closer. Creativity’s green eyes flashed behind his glasses.

Creativity didn’t have green eyes.

Nico whirled around to face behind him. “Who are you?” he demanded.

No one was there. He turned back to the mirror and saw it blank too. The only person in the reflection was Nico himself.

Nico glanced back and forth between the mirror and where Creativity would have stood behind him. Something was going on. He wished he knew what it was.

But for now, he had to go back out there to support Thomas. One issue at a time.

He left the dressing room and walked back down the hall. He managed to slip out into the main theatre without anyone noticing him. All the actors were still paying attention to the auditions. He spotted Thomas among them. They locked gazes and Nico gave him a reassuring smile as he made his way back to his seat.

Nico sat back down. He couldn’t keep himself from fidgeting with his sleeves as he watched the rest of the auditions. “Paranoia?” he whispered, quiet enough that no one around could hear him.

He felt rather than saw Paranoia appear from the shadows next to his seat. Nico sighed. “Who was that?” he asked.

Paranoia visibly tensed beneath his cloak. “You’ll see.”

“Well, that’s not foreboding at all,” Nico muttered. He turned back to the stage and waited patiently for the auditions to be done.

*******

“Thanks for helping me,” Thomas said as he and Nico left the theatre side by side. Their hands were linked, which Nico had a hard time not thinking about.

Nico smiled. “It’s no problem.” He and Thomas walked to their cars. They paused in front of Nico’s vehicle.

“I, uh, I’ll talk to you later?” Thomas said.

“Absolutely. I’ll call you tonight.”

“Okay.” Thomas squeezed Nico’s hand. “And thanks again. For the talk.”

“Anytime.” Nico pecked Thomas on the cheek. “See you. Let me know if you get the part.”

He climbed into his car and took a deep breath. He watched as Thomas walked to his own vehicle, clutching his script in both hands.

As soon as Thomas was out of sight, Nico pulled his car away from the curb and started on home. “Logic?”

Logic appeared in the passenger seat. “Yes?”

“Creativity wasn’t here while we were in the dressing room, was he?”

Logic hummed. “I don’t believe I’m qualified to answer that question.”

“You’re qualified to answer all my questions.”

“Not this one. Believe me when I say that keeping this from you is in your best self interest. Besides, I can’t tell you unless I’m allowed.”

“Well, can you get permission?” Nico asked, getting increasingly frustrated.

“Only if you’re open to hear it. Anything you want to know about us, you can know. You just have to be ready for it.”

Nico swallowed nervously as he drove. He was curious beyond belief about whatever facet had been posing as Creativity, but... Nico already had a lot on his plate right now.

“I don’t know,” he muttered.

Logic raised an eyebrow. He sank out and Nico was left to drive home alone.

Left to his own thoughts, Nico thought back to his and Thomas’ discussion. He tried to stifle the smile that tried to sneak onto his face. He and Thomas were _boyfriends_ now. They were in a relationship. Nico was dating someone again. That fact that absolutely liberating. It felt like Nico was finally moving forward.

But at the same time, it left an ache in his heart. Part of him was still afraid that maybe, just maybe, Thomas was hiding cruelty behind a mask of kindness, and Nico would end up trapped in a bad relationship, or that he didn’t actually like Nico at all and the only way Nico could find love was by going back to someone else. And yet another part of him was still hopelessly attached to his awful ex. He couldn’t help but be slightly tempted to cut off Thomas entirely and go back to Jamie.

But it was a start.

He pulled up to his house and parked. He walked up to the door and stepped inside. He grimaced when he spotted his laptop sitting on the coffee table, waiting for him.

He sighed and sank into his seat on the couch. After unlocking his laptop, he went to his email and read over the draft on his screen, the manuscript for his novel attached at the end. Before he could think about it too much, he pressed send.

He sat slouched in his seat, staring at his screen. There was no taking it back now. But Creativity was right when he said Nico should take his own advice. Nico really needed to listen to himself more often.

He sat there until his screen went black, laptop gently whirring as it drifted off into sleep mode. He sighed. He was anxious to hear back from the publisher, and he was sure this decision was going to keep him up at night. However, for now, all he could do was wait.

“Finally.”

Nico blinked at his black screen. In the reflection, he spotted Creativity standing behind the couch, leaning on his wizard staff. He peered at Nico’s reflection through his glasses.

Nico narrowed his eyes. “Who are you?”

Creativity smiled a little too wide to look normal. Nico’s stomach flipped at the sight.

“Why, I’m your Creativity,” he said. “Who else would I be?”

“You’re not Creativity.”

“You don’t know that.”

Nico sighed. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m just here to congratulate you on finally sending that manuscript. You thought about it for way too long, honestly. It was perfectly fine from the beginning.”

“No, it wasn’t,” Nico said. “It needed a lot of editing to be as decent as it is.”

“You underestimate yourself, Flores,” Creativity said. “Your ego really needs a boost.”

Nico ran a hand through his hair. “Look, I don’t even know who or what you are. Either tell me what you’re doing here or get out.”

He didn’t receive a response. Nico looked at his black screen and saw that Creativity’s reflection was gone.

“Fine then,” he muttered. “Don’t tell me.”

He leaned back in his seat and stared up at the ceiling. Today could have been a lot worse, but he could have done without the revelation that there was more to his own personality than the four traits that he depended on most. And judging by the way the new facet acted, it likely wasn’t a good part of himself.

Aurelio rose up on the other side of the coffee table. “Well... at least you finally sent your manuscript. You worked really hard on it, Nico. I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks.”

Aurelio smiled. “And look on the bright side. You and Thomas are together now! I’m so excited! You think we’re allowed to call him pet names, or should we wait until a few weeks into the relationship?”

Nico couldn’t help the thrill of butterflies in his stomach when he thought about that. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. Look on the positives. And I think he’d be okay with pet names, but we should ask him first.”

Aurelio hummed. “You’re right. Anyway, I hope you know Creativity and I are going to be daydreaming about Thomas for the rest of the day.”

“It’ll be hard to write if you’re doing that.”

“Well, you need a break, anyway! You’ve been working yourself half to death lately. You deserve a day or two of rest.”

Nico sighed. “Yeah, okay. You’re right. I’ll take a day to unwind. I think I need it. Creativity especially needs it.”

Aurelio ruffled Nico’s hair. “I’m proud of you, Nico. Thanks for sending that manuscript.”

Nico glanced up at the imaginary personification of his heart. The porcelain cracks on Heart’s face made him look fragile, but they seemed to have mended themselves just a little bit since this morning.

“Now, if you need me, I’ll be in my room,” Aurelio said. “That daydreaming isn’t going to get done without me!”

With that, he sank out, leaving Nico on his own. Nico stared at his blank screen. He was glad he’d finally sent his novel, but he couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if the publishing company said no.

He shook that thought away and set his laptop aside. That was something to think about later.

*******

“HOW DARE HE?”

Logic sighed. “Creativity, calm—”

“I will not calm down!” Creativity shouted as he paced back and forth in Nico’s mindscape. “That little snake had the audacity to impersonate _me_ of all facets! The... the gall! The nerve! The insolence! As soon as I get my hands on him, I’m going to—”

“Do nothing,” Logic finished. He crossed his legs and lowered the book he’d been trying to read on the couch.

Creativity whirled on him. “You think I’m going to let that creature sully my reputation?”

“He didn’t ‘sully’ anything. He was doing his job.”

“Well, I don’t even see why he’s here! He’s nothing but a dirty, rotten, liar, and I’ll thank you to treat him as such!”

Logic raised a brow. He closed his book and stood. “You’ll thank me to treat him like a monster? And who are you to tell me how to treat anyone in this mindscape?”

Creativity faltered. “Well—I was just saying...”

“Every single facet of Nico is useful,” Logic said, already frustrated with Creativity’s insistence on demeaning Nico’s other facets. “The fact that this one is finally showing himself to Nico means that Nico is re-evaluating himself and learning more about who he is as a person. While I admit, some of the repressed facets are difficult to reason with, they are all essential in making Nico who he is. They are all useful, and I’ll thank _you_ to treat them as such.”

Creativity opened and closed his mouth like a floundering fish. He finally huffed and marched away, purple cloak swishing behind him.

Logic rolled his eyes at Creativity’s theatrics. He lowered himself back onto the couch and picked up his book.

Before he could open it, he felt a presence lingering somewhere in the room, unseen. “Hello,” Logic said.

A smile materialized out of nowhere, and a second later another facet appeared sitting on the armchair across the coffee table. The top hat on his head obscured most of his face in shadow, although the too-wide smile was always visible.

“Salutations,” the facet said.

“What exactly were you thinking when you impersonated Creativity?” Logic asked.

“Oh, I was just having some fun,” the facet scoffed. “Don’t tell me your little duckling is actually offended! I thought I did a wonderific job of being Creativity.”

“No, you didn’t,” Logic said. “You haven’t been putting much effort into pretending to be us lately. Why is that?”

The facet giggled. “Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy?”

“Yes, I would. That’s why I’m asking.”

The facet leaned to the side and turned completely upside-down in the armchair, propping his feet up on the back. His top hat miraculously managed to stay on. “I don’t need to hide as much anymore. Nico’s been thinking through all kinds of questionable things lately. Sooner or later, he’ll find out about me and see the merit in keeping me around. It’ll be better for him, anyway. It’s not like he can just decapitate me and be done with me.”

“That is true. Your function would not go away if Nico were to cut your head off.”

“Say, do you think decapitation is a more painful way to die than being stabbed? I’ve been meaning to test it out, but I haven’t gotten around to it.”

“I’m not sure,” Logic mused. “If you do manage to try both, let me know which one is more painful. I’d like to know.”

The facet clasped both hands to his chest. “Aww, thank you, Logic. You see, this is why I like you best. You understand me.”

“I understand why your function is essential to keeping Nico running,” Logic said. “If not for you, I don’t believe he ever would have left Jamie.”

“Oh, you flatter me, dearest.” He took off his top hat. He reached in and produced a cup of tea. The liquid inside remained in the cup, despite the fact that it was upside down. “Would you like a cup of tea? We can always go play cards if you’d like.”

“You always win at cards. You cheat.”

“I do not cheat! It’s not my fault you don’t understand the rules.”

“You change the rules every time we play.”

The facet shrugged. “Maybe you should pay more attention, then.”

Logic sighed and opened his book again. He began reading where he left off, but he paused. “How are the others doing?”

“Oh, you know my little ducklings. Always such angsty emo little things. Why, the lion threw a hissy fit yesterday over the state of society and how much he hates it. He went full Joker on me! Absolutely ridiculous, the lot of them.” He sipped at his tea. “And don’t get me started on Paranoia.”

“Paranoia is quite the conundrum,” Logic muttered, tapping at the spine of his book. “He’s one of Nico’s core facets, but ever since Jamie, he’s also become one of the darker parts of Nico’s personality, one that he represses. That means he’s both yours and my problem to deal with.”

“Hmm, yes, he is an interesting enigma,” the other facet said. He grinned even wider. “Oh, I love how he used to jump and scream whenever he saw me. Now he just tells me to go die in a hole.”

“He’s become much more vigilant.”

“He has. It’s the survival instincts, I suppose. They jumped out more during the whole Jamie situation.”

“But he’s also nearly unbearable,” Logic mumbled, only half paying attention to what he was reading in his book.

The other facet let out a high pitched laugh. “Oh, he’s always been unbearable, Logic! He used to be such a coward. Now he’s just annoying in a different way.”

Logic sighed. “Why did you come to see me, anyway?”

The other facet swished his tea around in his cup. A couple droplets spilled over the edge and fell upwards to the ceiling. “Things are going to get interesting, Logic.” He eyed the corners of the room. “I think you should be prepared for that.”

With that, he disappeared, his ever present smile the last thing to leave the room.

Logic glanced up at the corners of the room where the other facet had been looking. Shadows lingered where the wall connected to the ceiling and the floor. They writhed and shifted as if they were alive.

Logic stood and walked to the door to his room in the mindscape.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm mostly just improvising the plot of this series at this point, the only thing i know that will definitely happen is Nico's facets meeting Thomas' sides eventually


End file.
